Forever a reminder to live in the moment.
I've spent too much time living in the past-you know, re-hashing situations in my mind, wondering what I could have done differently for a better outcome. Missing "those days."
On the other hand, I've also spent way too much time making plans for the future, most which never quite turn out the way I had in mind. Which then led to the inevitable...me, pissed off.
Needless to say, it's taken me 30 years to realize that I cannot change the past, and while I can affect the outcome of my future, if I spend too much time trying to perfect it, I miss the precious moments of the present.
While I never thought I'd tattoo my wrist, I felt it was the most appropriate spot for my new treasure. Facing inward, it would constantly catch my eye and remind me to stop. Breathe. Live in the now.
Why Present Tense? Good question.
When I was 11, I heard my first Pearl Jam song-'Alive.' Shortly thereafter, my like for their music grew to love. A love that comforted me in my darkest times. A love that spoke to me like a quiet whisper, discretely hidden under covers. A love that had perfect timing and aged as I did. A love that knew when my soul needed mending and quickly came to rescue.
For 19 years I've often pondered tattoo ideas to represent this love, but nothing I thought of seemed great enough. Then it all made sense.
This song, Present Tense:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwamCGQU7_s
"You can spend your time alone redigesting past regrets,or you can come to terms and realize you're the only one who can forgive yourself.
Makes much more sense to live in the present tense."
I agree. It all came together-my perspective on life and my love for the band that continues to write songs just for me- this was it.
As the needle guided the ink into my skin, with each cringe, with each breath, I let go.
I let go of all the negative in my past that I cannot change.
I let go of his past, and realized that it had nothing to do with me and I cannot keep trying to compete with it.
I let go of anger, hurt, jealousies, punishments, hate...
I walked out a new person. I walked out with a huge weight lifted off my shoulders .
Who thought 12 letters could do so much?
